You don't have to weather the storm alone

You're all talk, nothing ever gets done

aka

'Always talking, nothing doing.'
-Mr Jake Chong

(add an asian accent onto that and there you have, almost a perfect quote) :o)Miss Felicia Poh,

You are a forgetful one. You need to write things down constantly to remember things. You write to yourself quite some bit to remind yourself how the your week was, anything new you've learnt and what you've been up to recently. The above print was put there for a reason. It was put there because it expresses perfectly how you've been feeling over the past week. Felicia, it's okay, everyone has their insecurities. You just need to not let yours get in the way of things. You know Jake loves you for who you are, that he won't ever let you down, he'll catch you when you fall, he calls you back when you hang up on him, is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you and'll practically do anything to show how much you mean to him. So then why have you been so worried and insecure just recently? It's because you're worried that your past and a certain karma will catch up with you and because you trust in him so much, you are just so on edge, worried and cautious that he might be the one to disappoint you and let you down, when you least expect it and you don't expect it is why you're worried. Don't worry, Jake is nothing but good for you and him hurting you would be the last thing to worry about. He's always been there and always will be there to reassure you. You have nothing in the world to worry about.

A second thing, over the past 7 months, you slowly realise that you have had a change in attitude and the way you think things. You have been thinking more so positively and optimistically rather than 'never' and 'it is impossible'. It is no coincidence that these influences have occurred over the period of time where a certain someone has stepped into your life and influenced changes over you, for the better. It would make perfect sense then to say that you owe special thanks to that certain somebody. That certain somebody would be Jake. Stay in my life okay? 7 months and still counting... This isn't for the sake of just another teenage relationship. You're serious about the two of you. You want it to work and know that it will with the co-operation from both parties, it will. Try not to deny your feelings. He means more to you than you could ever express to him but you can always try. Sometimes, you don't get a second chance at things so don't screw it up. Trust that you'll always be there for one another, as you will. Share your feelings with him, you know that he'll always be there to listen so don't hide things. If you feel a certain way, just say so, he will not look at you any differently, he will not judge. You and I both know that, so don't make it so difficult.


Another thing, dad and you have never been close and probably never will be. You've learnt now that he will always discourage you and that doesn't mean that in the time left, you should give up or not try to make an effort to make amends. This is probably his way to get you to pick yourself up and throw yourself even higher, to prove him wrong and it works. You've always managed to do it, every time he looks you down. You should have gotten used to and grown accustomed to this by now, you haven't and might not ever but maybe you don't have to. Maybe you just need to learn and remember that that was the way he was raised, that was what he was taught and that is how he expresses his feelings, quite strangely. You need to stop thinking that the difference between the two of you are too great and that there is no room for improvement. You know that it's the mentality, so if you think like that, there won't be. As for your mum, you both are always, always constantly bickering, fighting, fighting and fighting. You need to put a stop to this. Stop bickering. You need to hear what each other have to say and work out your mis-understandings. It is easier said than done but who's to say that you can't start trying? One day, your parents won't be around anymore to set you straight on your path and guide you through. You know this, that this day will come around, is why you need to start learning now to be independent and to start relying more on yourself. Make the most of your time with them and appreciate the things they do for you while they're still around. They may not always be right and you know that but they only want what's best. No parent would want something that's not good for their child.

You might not be able to do a lot about how you feel but you sure as hell can do something about the way you act. Sometimes you need to fall to learn what's right, what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. Let go of the past, you can't change it. Live in the present and work towards the future. Stop thinking you'll just 'go with the flow.' don't be always taking chances. What if the flow just left off to nowhere, really? Don't wander around aimlessly, with no goal, no dream, no provision, no future to look to. Know what you want, know what you're going to have to do to get it and work hard, put in solid effort and work towards it. You can and will do better this semester. I'm just going to say it loud and clear now so that it is cemented in your head. Lastly, don't forget to smile and keep smiling. 'Never let success get to your head and your failures get to your heart.'

With love,

Yourself.